Okay the day got better
Okay, I’ve calmed down and rethought a lot of things. I found out that I will be graduating next sem. with a bach in psychology and I only have to take two classes, so i’m really happy about that. I’ve made the choice to eat about 1800 calories a day and just do my hour or two on the elliptical, my aerobics, and go for a nice walk. If I don’t lose anything then i’m thinking about going to the doctor and talk to him and ask his opinion.
I found a new reason, and I feel works better for me, to lose weight. Many may think this is wrong BUT just hear me out. I was doing it so I can be sexy again and love my body, in a sense i’m still doing this but not so much. Then I was doing it to look good in pictures and my clothes again. This can get me off track because if one day I dress up and look really good my mind tends to go “hey, I look great I don’t need to lose weight”. Now i’m doing to show all those people that think I can’t and then throw it back into their face. I have so many people that think I can’t do this. They think that when a person gains weight that their life is over and they are just going through life because they have to. No more, revenge is a very good motivator for me HAHAHAAHA
I’m really scared about eating this much but i’m going to eat a lot today (well more than what i’ve been doing) because i’m like, why not what i’ve been doing before isn’t working why not try something new. Plus when i’ve been working out lately i’ve been so damn tired and it makes sense now my body was starving. ::sigh:: change scares me and on top of that I feel like the last couple of weeks have just been a waste but I can’t say that because it got my body use to the machine and the workouts. One person, not on here, told me that if I workout over two hours a day that I wouldn’t lose weight. I understand if I don’t eat enough but that doesn’t make sense because the trainers on the biggest loser workout their people 4 hours a day. Whatever, I’m going to do my own thing! Of course, with the great advice you guys have given 
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If you never lost another pound, your life would still be worth living!! That’s just crazy talk. You are getting ready to graduate and that kind of accomplishment has nothing to do with what size you are. As far as trying to lose weight to prove something to others, I hate to sound trite but you have to do it for you or it won’t stick. What others think of you is an external motivator, like wanting to get into a certain dress for a certain event, or wanting to lose weight before your vacation. It has been my experience that external motivators may work for the short term, but if you don’t change what’s on the inside, find your internal motivators, the weight loss won’t stick. Trying to figure out what’s going on inside of you that caused you to lose control of your eating in the first place is where it all begins, at least that’s what I believe. If you can figure that out, then all those external motivators get satisfied too (like sticking your fine booty in the face of all those nay-sayers) but it’s just icing on the cake. Anyway, that’s just my thoughts on the matter. You are so awesome, I think sometimes you are too hard on yourself.
I have a list of 50 reasons why I want to loose weight. When I first started out I could not get 50, but slowly you experience things that make you want to add something else. One of my reason is to prove to my ass hole doctors that they are ass holes. If I say something is wrong they say oh it’s because you are fat, and I am tired or hearing that. Make a list of different things that make you wanna kick things up and loose the weight. Another of mine is to wear bakini undies. It can be big or small. Also, you made it seem like you were a college student. Your campus probably has a health clinic where you can get blood work done very cheaply. If you think something might be wrong with you they can test your thyroid, glucose, iron, and all that other stuff and see if there is a health reason as to why the pounds are not coming off. My test cost me about $25. Have a great day.
I think that you are going to succeed at this! It took me at least 15 ’serious’ times of starting to diet to figure out how my body works, and what I need to do to loose weight. And I may be wrong on this, but your body gets used to certain activites. If you are doing the same thing over and over, eventually your body is going to adapt. I notice that if I am not feeling the burn or sweating as much, I kick up the intensity. You can do this to prove it to everyone else (I used to love to have guys hit on me in front of the bf, what a booster lol), but ultimately make sure you are doing this for you too!
I think you look gorgeous - and never let anyone say you can’t do something. Definitely drive to kick a$$.